Questions to Get to Know People faster and deeper

Melody Gawliu compiled this COMPREHENSIVE list of questions to help you get to know people faster and deeper! The fastest way to get to know others is to – just ask! And the fastest way to get to know other people deeper is by asking the right questions.

These questions can be used in pretty much any setting: 1 on 1, in a small group, at the meal table, for interviews, etc. Gawliu is always ready to probe further after someone shares; ideally these would be conversation prompts rather than just question-answer but use it how you see fit! Gawliu debated on how to best organize the questions below but decided it would be best to leave it in a numbered list. If you want to suggest more questions, please leave a comment. If you like the list, please share it with others!

Suggestions for how to use the list below:

Have the person choose a number from 1 to ____ and answer the question that correlates.
Look through the list and choose the questions that you would like to use and create your own list to follow option above.
- Use a special dice!
Choose questions you want to use, put each on individual slips of paper and have a person grab a slip.
Use a website like https://www.random.org/lists/ to input the questions and generate a list in random order to answer.
Add them to Jenga pieces and play a fun twist to Jenga
- whichever piece you get out, you have to answer the question),
After almost any question you could follow up with the question “why?”
Answer the questions for yourself!

Without further ado….here are the questions!

What do you wish you had more time to do?
What do you think you spend too much time doing?
Who do you need to get in touch with because it’s been too long and why?
What is something new you recently tried and enjoyed?
What will you have wanted to accomplish by the time you are 100?
Describe something you achieved that you didn’t think was possible.
What gives you hope?
What life advice would you offer to a newborn infant? (or 2 year-ago self, teenager, person graduating college)
If you were to give a graduation commencement speech, what would it entail?
1. Choice of: middle school, high school, college
When did you last cry alone in front of someone else?
What matters to you and why?
What holds you back from doing the things you really want to do?
What is a new habit you want to take up?
Have you ever lost someone close to you?
If you are in a bad mood, do you prefer to be left alone or have someone to cheer you up?
What is your greatest fear?
What is the best way to give you feedback?
What is the best way to correct/rebuke you?
If you won $10,000, what would you spend it on?
What did/would you spend your first paycheck on?
What is your favorite movie and why?
If you could talk to anyone in the world (living or dead), who would it be and what would you talk about?
If you could opt out of any chore/job for the rest of your life, what would it be?
If you could trade places with any person (living or dead), who would you be and why?
If you could have anything you want for dinner tonight, what would it be?
If you could guest star on any TV show, what show would you choose and why?
If Jesus joined you for breakfast, what would you talk about?
If you could ask God any question and He would answer, what would you ask?
If you could have any job in the world, what would you choose?
If money were no object, what one thing would you want to buy?
If you were given a credit card with no limits and you didn’t have to pay the bill, what would be the first thing you would purchase?
If you could create a new national holiday, what would it be?
If you could add an 11th Commandment, what would it be?
If you could spend the day with anyone from the Bible, who would you choose and what would you do?
If you could take a mission trip anywhere in the world, where would you choose to go and why?
If you could have any one prayer answered, what would it be?
If all your fears were removed, what is something you’d like to do?
If you could have any fear removed, what one fear would you remove and why?
If you could have any talent/gift, what would you choose?
What is your greatest accomplishment?
What is something you know you do differently than most people?
What is your next great adventure?
What do you think about when you’re by yourself?
What’s on your bucket list today (or this week, month, year)?
What’s one thing that could happen today that would make it great?
What inspires you?
What is the greatest struggle you’ve overcome?
What made you choose the college you went to?
What are the little things you stop to appreciate and enjoy?
What does home mean to you?
What do you want to do before you die?
How do you show your love?
What scar that you have has the best story?
Where do you feel most free?
When do you feel most free?
Does your job make you happy?
What’s the one thing that people always misunderstand about you?
Where do you feel most free to express yourself?
Why are we here?
What are three things you value most about a person?
What is your biggest regret?
What was your most interesting thinking alone moment?
If you were suddenly asked to be a speaker on a topic of your choice, what would that topic be?
Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
What would you do in this situation: rainy day, lost luggage, tangled Christmas tree lights.
What would constitute a perfect day for you?
If you could take a day to do anything, what would you do?
What’s your philosophy in life?
What are mottos you live by?
For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
Take 2 minutes to tell your life story in as much detail as possible.
What is the one thing you would want people to understand about you?
Is there something that you’ve dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
Is what you’re doing now what you always wanted to do growing up?
When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grow up? What was the turning point that changed that?
What is your most treasured memory?
What is a memory that you are afraid to forget?
If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
How close and warm is your family? Explain.
What is your relationship with your family?
Who in your family do you feel closest to and why?
Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s? How so?
How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
If you were to become a close friend to someone, what would be important for them to know?
If someone really knew you, what would they know about you?
If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be?
What’s the longest you’ve gone without sleep and what’s the story behind it?
What’s the most daring thing you’ve ever done?
What’s your favorite family tradition?
What traditions does your family have?
What is a tradition you would like to start in your family?
Do you collect anything?
How do you think your friends would describe you? Do you agree?
We all wear masks in one way or another. What are the masks you wear? Who are you underneath those masks?
If you could go back in time, what is one piece of advice you would give your younger self?
If heaven is real and you died tomorrow, would you get in?
What is your biggest irrational fear?
Have you ever seen something you can’t explain?
What would you consider to be your deepest fear? (This question can be really telling of the depth or lack thereof of a person.)
Is there an activity that calms you? A place or a thing that makes you feel at ease?
Can you remember a time in your life you felt the most alive? Tell me everything about that memory.
Where do you find meaning in your life?
If you could have the option of eradicating pain from your life would you choose to do so? Why or why not?
If you could relive any day in your life, what would you choose?
What do you think happens after death, if anything?
Tell me a really, really stupid joke that made you laugh.
Out of the positive emotions of compassion, positivity, enthusiasm and initiative, which one is your biggest strength?
How do you wish to be remembered? What would you want the history books to say about you?
If you could live in any period of history, when would it be?
How would you summarize your life purpose?
What difference would it make in your life if you felt completely safe, accepted, and loved?
What event in your life has shaped you most as a person, and how did it do so?
How did you choose your current profession?
What’s the most memorable lesson you learned from your parents?
What obstacles are you currently trying to overcome?
What memory instantly makes you smile?
Are you living a meaningful life?
What do you think are the 5 most beautiful things in the world? Why?
What impression do you try to give when you first meet someone?
What impression do you think you give when you first meet someone?
What’s something you enjoy doing that you never get tired of?
What are you excessively obsessive-compulsive about?
What’s a story of yours that you don’t get to tell often enough?
When people come to you for help, what do they usually want help with?
What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of?
What is something that people are obsessed with but you just don’t get the point of?
What quirky things do people do where you are from?
What do you say more often in life: yes or no?
What gets you fired up?
What scares you about the future?
Who is someone that you miss having in your life?
Who did you share a table with at lunch in high school?
What were you like in school?
1. Choose between elementary, middle, high school, college
2. Or ask them to describe themself for each to see the progress/transition
What do you take for granted?
On the whole, do you find life to be fair?
What teacher in school made the most impact on you and why?
What is your favorite way to start the day?
What extracurricular activities did you participate in while in school?
What’s your favorite board game?
What is your hidden talent?
If you could start a non-profit, what would be the non-profits cause/mission?
What’s your Myers Briggs?
What’s your Enneagram?
Who do you admire and why?
Where do you volunteer your time/resources?
What’s one thing you still have from your childhood?
Who is the “Paul” or “Timothy” in your life? (Basically, who is your mentor and who do you mentor?)
How would you describe your childhood?
What is something that makes you feel like a kid again?
What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve done lately?
What is a quirky or unusual fear that you have?
What’s something in your house you want to get rid of but can’t? (Please no naming family members!)
What is the biggest way you’ve changed since you were a child? In what way are you still the same?
If you are at the zoo, what animal do you enjoy watching most and why?
Have you ever bought something matching with someone or were forced by a family member to wear matching outfits?
What was your best/worst surprise?
What is one of your biggest pet peeves?
What was your first vehicle?
As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up and why?
If you could eat only one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
What has been your favorite road trip or vacation?
How would you describe your favorite meal — appetizer, drink, entree and/or dessert?
If they were to make a documentary about your life, what would be your favorite scene?
What is one fictional character that you wish was a real person?
What is an item of clothing you wore over and over as a kid?
What is your favorite item of clothing and why?
If you had to do your prom or wedding over again, what would you change? (Besides your date or spouse!)
What is the messiest job you’ve ever had or the biggest mess you’ve ever cleaned up? (If you are eating, you may want to save this question for last.)
What movie or book does everyone love that you don’t like at all?
It’s Friday night after a terribly busy week, how do you spend it?
What is one favorite activity from childhood you wish you could do now?
What is your favorite mode of transportation: plane, train, automobile, bike or boat or other?
What is the most unique thing you have ever ordered online or had to go shopping to find?
What is a home project, craft or hobby that you tried that didn’t go so well?
A favorite icebreaker is putting one person on the “hot seat” (with their permission) and asking them a series of questions quickly, such as:
1. What is your favorite road trip snack?
2. Three apps on your phone you can’t live without?
3. What is one thing you are passionate about?
Who has been a spiritual hero in your life?
Who is someone in the bible that you look up to?
What’s one unique role you had in the family you were brought up in? (For example: oldest, baby, funny person, organizer, peacemaker, black sheep.)
If you got something spiritual tattooed on your body, what it would be and what would it symbolize? If you already have a spiritual tattoo, why did you get it? What does it symbolize?
If you are married, what was the moment you knew you were in love with your spouse? If you are single, what’s an important trait you look for in a partner?
What is something important a grandparent or older mentor taught you?
What book or story has had the biggest impact on you (aside from the Bible)?
In the Bible, God gives some figures “new names.” What would you want your new name to be and why? (These can be characteristics, something funny or even just a favorite name with a good association.)
What is one spiritual tradition you have or always have wanted to have in your life or family?
What is one worship song or lyric that has really spoken to your heart?
What is a comfort item you had as a child or something you loved about your bedroom that comforted you?
Even if you have moved a lot, everyone has a “heart home.” What is that place for you?
Take a minute to brag about yourself.
What is one accomplishment people might not know about that makes you proud?
If you were going on a spiritual retreat, what three things (besides your Bible) would you take and why?
John 14:2 tells us “My Father’s house has many rooms …” What would your heavenly room be like?
What is a hard-learned lesson from your life?
What prayer have you been praying the longest?
What prayer has been answered for you recently?
If you could ask Jesus to change one problem in the world today, which problem would you pick?
Tell us about the most inspirational thing you have experienced (Bible verse, artwork, book, nature, person)?
What is a memorable quote or scripture verse that has changed you?
What is something that people would be surprised to know about you?
As you grow older, what is one quality you hope to retain (besides a sound mind)?
What is a trip or experience that had a big spiritual impact on you and why?
Finish this sentence, “In order for a small group to feel safe, I need …”
Think about your best spiritual friend. What do they do to encourage you?
When was a time when someone showed you deep compassion/love like Jesus?
What is the best way to rebuke/correct you?
Finish this sentence, “I need…in order to…”
….. Melody Gawliu continues to add more so check back!